joy, four-year-old stylee.

yeah....this is why xmas day is always seven sorts of awesome. just that look of pure, child-unique enthusiasm--well, it's brilliant, really.

i really don't even remember what he'd just opened, but it must have been good. great, perhaps? i don't remember, though. the husband thinks it might have been good ol' spidermonkey, straight from ben 10:alien force. sound good to me, though i cannot agree for sure....

yay xmas, puking notwithstanding.

ho, ho, hork.

whilst this season has certainly held much merriment, it's also been host to a helluva lot of illness. the kid, full of phlegm and mischief. myself?? equally full of phlegm, with a plentiful side portion of stomach flu. all in all? not as merry as i'd like, but doable.

i think everyone got what they desired, giftily-speaking. i know that i was pleasantly surprised, and, in turn, surprised my parenty compatriot. he went gaga/apeshit/whathaveyou over the robotech boxset i managed to find for him, while i am happily screwing around with a fancypants new camera....all this flu-ishness has enabled me to watch much of the Deadwood box we gave ourselves for shitsngiggles.

now...urm...hrm. more puking seems to be in my immediate future.

i'll show you a god who falls down on the job.

though it's been difficult, i have learned a hard, big girl, lesson from this mess. said lesson?? i'd rather be honest, ethical and righteous than one of the cool kids. i'd rather retain my loyalty to what's Right and Proper than part of the boys' club. i dislike learning life-type lessons this way, but i suppose it'll be better in t he long run...

or something like that?

short versioned, it's better to be fighting the good fight than be liked by one's co-workers.

unfortunately.

we had the first snow of the season yesterday, and, while it didn't stick to the ground, it was beautiful. that rare sort of snow that flies gracefully, all quiet and huge flakes. sigh. loves the damn snow...

the midnight showing of twilight was absolutely packed....perhaps 3-4 seats left un-filled? the movie was good enough, but i really do wish they hadn't made it so bloody dis-jointed feeling. like, had i not read the books? yeah...i'd have been lost. scene to scene, it wasn't quite as linearly filmed as it could have been. i enjoyed pattinson as edward quite a bit, the eye candy factor being a nice plus to a weirdly accurate portrayal. though, i have to admit, even to myself, that his early scenes were a bit..well, edward read as less trying to avoid bella and more as possibly slightly mentally defective. i spent more time in the theatre laughing than i think i was supposed to...but..man, some parts were just so silly!! the sparkly scene? yeah..special effects is so effing fired. they couldn't have screwed that bit up more. he looked like a wet peach, a weirdly lit up something, but not what i expected. judging by the groans surrounding me, i don't think it was quite what others were expecting, either.

i spent this morning listening the to movie soundtrack, being silly, packing up orders, and trying to get excited about thanksgiving. it's not proving easy....bleh. HATES thanksgiving.

my best girl was over for a bit yesterday, and ate some awesome los jalapenos with us. it was mellow and swell, both things i enjoy.

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Now playing: Muse - Knights Of Cydonia
via FoxyTunes

drifting, falling.

...or something along those lines.

left work ridiculously early yesterday, for no reason other than wanting to spend more time with the bug, and no desire to spend any more time near a bartender who is useless. well, not useless, perhaps, but definitely irksome.

not necessary for details, only the fact that there is, indeed, a boy's club, and that i am damned glad i am no part of the goddamn thing.

whatever.

had a lovely afternoon wherein i spent my time watching a bunch of awesome ladies knit, and chatting and so forth. i got to meet a couple of people from the interwebs, and hey! they were swell. though, my social retardation manifested itself in a lot of nonsensical rambling, of that i am pretty certain.

bleh. go me!

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Now playing: The Martinis - Free
via FoxyTunes

the A-Z of my un-fashion.

A: What accessories do you wear everyday?
wedding ring, lip ring, septum ring, conch, tragusX2, orbital & 3 circ. barbells in ears.

B: What is your beauty routine?
geez. what beauty routine? take a shower, moisturiser on my face, brushed teeth, mouthwash, lotion on legs & arms, deodorant, perfume. if i am working i wear make up, if i'm not, i don't bother.

C: What was the last item of clothing (for yourself) that you purchased?
winter coat, blazer, heeled boots.

D: Do you use a dresser, closet, or both?
both, but mostly the floor for dirty, basket for clean. terrible...

E: What type of earrings are in your ears right now?
see above...

F: What type of figure do you have (measurements)?
uh..? how about a bunch of grapes? yes. exactly that.

G: Do you wear glasses?
yes...the contact lens experiment was a profound failure.

H: What type of handbag do you carry?
depends....i used to have several vintagey ones i carried, but scrapped that when i moved to philly. mostly i carry a messenger bag now, so that i can carry the maximum amount of crap.

I: What is your ideal style?
something along the lines of lazy gothabilly?? i dunno. when i was thin, i wore vintage (1930's-40's) dresses and a lot of velvet and spooky shit. now, not so much...lazy days are cuffed jeans and a blouse, fancy days are skirts and nicer tops.

J: What is your favorite brand of jeans?
right now i fucking love the bitten line. the dark wash, short, premium straight leg jean is where it's at!

K: Do you wear knee-hi stockings?
uh...no. i do wear knee high socks & over the knee socks, though.

L: Do you *have* to wear matching lingerie?
in that it's matchingly clean? if so, then yes...

M: Do you wear makeup?
yes. most of the time. eyebrows and eyeliner anyway...

N: Do you wear nightgowns?
sometimes. mostly it's yoga pants & a tee shirt.

O: What outerwear do you put on when going out on a typical winters day?
hoodie or sweater, dickies jacket, gloves. i just bought an actual winter coat, though, so i am sure i will wear that now! huzzah!

P: What is your favorite perfume?
fresh sugar lychee, fresh sugar lemon, BPAL knecht ruprecht, BPAL embalming fluid, BPAL baron samedi, BPAL stardust, demeter sugar cookie. i wear different types of scents during different seasons...

Q: Is your motto "quality over quantity" when it comes to clothing and accessories?
i wish....:(

R: Do you wear rain boots?
ew, no..

S: Do you wear socks or slippers when your feet get cold?
slippers....i am a spaz, so i can't wear socks on the wood floors, or else i will fall down. seriously. it's absolutely ridiculous.

T: Do you have a set of travel luggage?
i have a large, relatively nice suitcase that my mom got me several years ago for xmas. i use that to go back home once a year.

U: What is your daily uniform?
depends...if i'm not working? then it's slippers, yoga pants, sweater, tee shirt. if i am, it's usually chucks, jens, some sort of top.

V: If you are married, did you wear a veil with your wedding dress? If not, how did you do your hair?
we didn't have a wedding, so no.

W: Do you wear a watch?
yes. everday....i have 3 i rotate through. a plain, men's silver timex, a red, wide-band paul frank julius watch, and a dracula swatch.

X: What item of clothing always makes you feel beautiful?
none currently. i am calling this my "fug phase".

Y: What is your favorite type of yarn?
to do what with? i don't know how to knit, man...

Z: Do you prefer zippers or buttons?
anything that keeps the clothing on when i want it on, and makes it easy to get off when i want it off.

my family's role in the world revolution.

i am ridiculously, unbelievably tired. like, run over by a bus, then beat up, tired. maybe it's because i slept most of the night on the couch? maybe not...

i am going cuckoo waiting to hear from the doc's office. on the one hand, i am terrified the bloodwork will find NOTHING--which makes me a crazy pants. on the other hand, they find SOMETHING--and it's something terrible. ugh. either way, dude, i am freeeeaking out. it's early still, so i shouldn't expect to hear from them for awhile, i guess.....why can't they just email or summat? like, immediately!!

eh. off to lie down.

life during wartime.

so....a week isn't quite complete without having a trip to the ER. i suppose. after several hours there, and an appointment at my GP today, i am none the wiser as to what's up with my body.

stupid body.

5 vials of blood later, and hopefully tomorrow they can give me something concrete.....wouldn't that be lovely??

caleb and i are watching goblet of fire. of course, he wants to watch it because he thinks harry is awesome. me? uh...welllll......i kind of have to say i am watching it to get an eyeful of robert pattinson. i really cannot wait for twilight, damnit!!

i know, i know.....that book is for like...14 year-olds....BUT!! butbut....bleh. it's just kind of a guilty read. a dead good one, though.

i am constantly thirsty lately. waterwaterwater. ugh.

ever since the fire went out.

i am...hmmm...i am....bored? no. not exactly. mostly unhappyish, with a side of flux.

that's not precisely what i wanted to say, but it is, perhaps, closer than normal. well, as far as livejournal dumbshittery goes, at any rate.

i don't post in here much, anymore. i feel like maybe i ought to keep my own counsel at times, even when i just want to spit things out. i feel like i need to keep my proverbial mouth shut, to make sure this page stays clean and acceptable. i don't think that is necessarily the reason behind things like this. i, at least, know that this was never the original reason for this, for here. in the beginning it was a way to keep in contact with others who had jumped ship, other refugees, as it were, from the vomitorium.

ah, yes....the vomitorium. heady, silly days, i suppose. without the vom, i wouldn't have two of the most wonderful people in the world in my life. for that? fuck yes, i am thankful. the triumvirate....the three of us clicked, and all was well. you are correct, sir geordie, you missed out. THAT night was fabulous, in a million tiny ways. i wish we had the chance to approximate that sort of brilliance again, but i fear the moment is gone. sadly, but inevitably the clock moves on, the hands keep fucking moving.....even when i don't want them to.

A & B--indeed. the two of you have always been fabulousness personified. one only can wish it ever comes to fruition and an person, flesh and blood meeting occurs someday.

hrm.

yes. i seem to have lost my original thread here....i suppose that means a new thread is needed, a new direction.

so much has gone by in the last 8 years. i've made, and lost, some really good friends. i've moved 3,000 miles blindly, gotten married, had a child, had some nervous breakdowns, lost more friends and relatives to death than i want to dwell upon....man. i still don't know what the fuck i am doing. when comes the absolute? where do you find the truth? when comes the end of the indecision and pain?

when what why why why?

does it just come down to 'why me?'?? i don't know. i am cleaned out in the answer department.

where do we go now, but nowhere?

i feel like i was more vivid somehow, back then. like i was once technicolour, and am now merely black and white. faded sepia, at best. faded, less alive....just an echo, maybe.

back to my original point...yes. this...whole thing. this non-private outing of everything. originally i kept it true, everything public, exactly what was going on at the time, all my feelings, everything.

no.

EVERYTHING.

but then, people started to get in. the real life persons started becoming upset, annoyed, etc, with my stupid little words.

at that point, it stops being one's own, i think. it starts becoming nothing. perhaps, less than nothing. without honesty, what are we? what good is this place?

(crossed from the eljay)

well, did you ever.

yesterday's craft show was not exactly lucrative. we spent three hours, under a gorgeous tree, with ample shady breezes, and the world's meanest squirrel.

seriously, that fucking rodent threw more shells, fruit bits, and god help me, i think squirrel spit??!! than i believed was possible. little bastard....

i sold two items, k none. like i said, not exactly lucrative.

it was a really great tree, though.

re-attempting.

sooo....hmmm. trying to remember about this poor ol' thing, and not let it become neglected. (again...) perhaps ...?